Helma Zukas, librarian at the Bellehaven Public Library, opens the story as she stands in front of her bedroom mirror, considering which of her Convent Attire outfits to wear on her afternoon date with Police Chief Wayne Gallant and his two teenage kids. The button-up blue blouse? The long-sleeve green pullover? Her neighbor TNT, who asks Helma to come sit with his distraught daughter for a few minutes, interrupts her two-page contemplation of her wardrobe and the vegetable tray she's prepared. Seems that Mary Lynn’s husband has been found dead of an apparent heart attack. Mary Lynn is a suspect.

Wayne Gallant arrives with his two teenagers, Syndi and Joseph, both of them acting like sullen brats. They take an instant dislike to Helma (maybe sullen brats are smarter than they look). Helma drops hints that Mary Lynn isn’t to blame for her husband’s death. She also quotes him platitudes from How to Raise a Happy Teenager. When Syndi calls later that night, looking for her dad, Helma knows that something is wrong. Sure enough, Wayne has been found on the rocks below Danish Point, and is in intensive care. Did he fall? More likely, he was pushed.

Helma, frantic with concern for her boyfriend, drives “two miles over the speed limit all the way into downtown Bellehaven,” where she finds that her demands for information fall on deaf ears. Imagine that - the police won’t spill all to the town librarian. The next day, an important meeting of the library staff concerning the design for a new brochure rack is interrupted by the arrival of police lieutenant Carter Houston, who wants Helma to look into the library circulation records. Seems that a library book was found on the site where the police chief fell, and it may be a clue to the perpetrator.

So what does our heroine do, now that someone has tried to kill her boyfriend and she has the means to help find out who did it? Head for the nearest computer terminal, muttering “Vengeance is mine?” Heavens, no. She launches into a lecture on the ethics of the library-patron relationship, concluding that it would be highly unethical for the library to divulge the checkout record of that book. And then, to make sure that nobody else at the library can help the police, she erases the records - but not before she accidentally sees the name of the patron.

Therefore, now that she’s circumvented the police and upheld her ideals by illegally tampering with the library computer system, there’s only one thing for our Miss Zukas to do. She’ll have to solve the crime herself.

Pass me a bucket.

I might have even been able to swallow this setup if Helma Zukas had been presented as anything other than a complete caricature. But there is no self-effacement, no sliver of uncertainty in the woman that might have humanized her, and in that respect, I didn’t care about her one bit. Nor did I care about Wayne Gallant. What red-blooded male would want to spend more than five minutes with a self-righteous, uptight, humorless stick like Helma? It made no sense to me.

Cozy mysteries usually feature amateur sleuths who solve the crime, but usually they are thrust into it or reluctantly assume the mantle of detective. It’s easy to sympathize with them and even root for their success. Helma Zukas, who barges into the middle of an investigation because the police won’t tell her what’s going on and she’s sure she has higher ethics than anyone else, is completely off-putting. Others may feel differently about Miss Zukas. But this reader’s annoyance with her shoved the mystery into the distant background. Who’s the murderer? Who cares? It’s not worth spending the time with Helma Zukas to find out. Not recommended.

--Cathy Sova